Bathroom scale

The Bathroom Scale, meaning the scale by which you can measure the quality of a bathroom, not the contraption in your bathroom by which you measure your weight.

One of the fun things about having the parents here is watching them deal with the bathrooms. Watching them makes me feel like so much less of a princess. Before, when a bathroom was unpleasant the voice in my head said, “don’t be a baby, at least it has a door,” or maybe, “it has a drain, what more do you need?” Now, when I watch my dad shutter after leaving a public loo by a temple, I find myself thinking, “yeah, he’s right, that was gross.” Or it I find myself thinking, “you think that’s bad, you should have seen them along the road in Cambodia.” And then I promptly forgive myself for hating every second of bathroom-ness for most of the second half of this trip.

My dad has starting giving bathroom stars. He asks our guide, “is it a 3 star bathroom?” just so he is prepared when they say, “no, local style, no stars.” With the sprit of measurement in mind, I thought I would write a little rubric for bathrooms.

Question 1: Do you have to roll up your pant-legs before you enter? In South East Asia, even in pretty nice places, the answer is almost always yes.

Question 2: Is it squatty, or western style? Generally it is about 50/50 on that one.

Question 3: Does it have toilet paper? In South East Asia, almost always no. This is a BYOTB region.

Question 3b: Does it have toilet paper on a communal roll outside? Dear reader, I almost never have the amount of preplanning required to remember to find the communal roll and tear my self a bit before I am pants down. Too often, I remember way too late

Question 4: Regardless of whether toilet paper is provided, are you allowed to flush loo paper, or do you have to put it in the bin? Sub question: does that bin have a top, or is it open air? Generally speaking you can not flush loo paper. This is even true in our hotel room right now. For the reason you can imagine, ideally, the loo paper bin has a top. This is often not the case.

Question 5: Do you flush the toilet? Or do you ladle water into the toilet until your business is out of sight? Question 5a: Is the water for ladling in the stall, or do you have to go out to a communal area for the water? In Ethiopia, I had to go out searching for water to flush a little too often. In South East Asia, generally there is water there, but it is a ladle situation.

Question 6: Is there water for washing hands? Often there is, but certainly don’t count on it.

Question 7: (now we are entering the area that earns bathrooms stars) Is there soap for washing hands? This is rare. Very rare. Having soap will get a bathroom a star. Even a tiny little bit of bar soap will get a star.

Question 8: Is there a way to dry your hands? This is so rare as to automatically earn a bathroom some stars.

Bonus Question: is this a toilet where you pay? Tip? Make a donation? There is some, but not too much, correlation between paying something and more cleanliness. That said, we paid to use the bathroom that made my dad shutter, so there are no guarantees.